Making Windmills with Words

A Time When Words Were Used Beautifully

There was a time when words were used beautifully. These glorious
insults are from an era when cleverness with words was still valued, before a
great portion of the English language was boiled down to four-letter words!

The exchange between Churchill and Lady Astor: She said, 'If you were
my husband, I'd put poison in your tea.' And he said, 'If you were my wife, I'd
drink it.''

Gladstone, a member of Parliament, to Benjamin Disraeli: 'Sir, you will
either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.' 'That depends, sir,'
said Disraeli... 'On whether I embrace your policies or your mistress'.

'He had delusions of adequacy.' - Walter Kerr

'He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.' -
Winston Churchill

'He is a modest little person, with much to be modest about.' - Winston
Churchill

'I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great
pleasure.' - Clarence Darrow

'He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the
dictionary.' - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

'Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?' -
Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

'Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading
it.' - Moses Hadas

'He can compress most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.' -
Abraham Lincoln

'I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of
it.' - Mark Twain

'He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends' - Oscar Wilde

'I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a
friend -- if you have one.' - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

'Cannot possibly attend first night but I will be able to attend the second
night -- if there is one.' - Winston Churchill, in response

'I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here.' -
Stephen Bishop

'He is a self-made man and worships his creator.' - John Bright

'I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.' -
Irvin S. Cobb

'He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others.' -
Samuel Johnson

'He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.' - Paul Keating

'There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure.' - Jack
E.Leonard

'He has the attention span of a lightning bolt.' - Robert Redford

'They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human
knowledge.' - Thomas Brackett Reed

'In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.' -
Charles, Count Talleyrand

'He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.' - Forrest Tucker

'Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?'
- Mark Twain

'His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork. - Mae West

'Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.' - Oscar
Wilde

'He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts -- for support rather
than illumination.' - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

'He has Van Gogh's ear for music.' - Billy Wilder

'I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.' - Groucho
Marx